


Shape of my Heart

by somewhat_angel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Assassin Castiel (Supernatural), Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Russian Mafia, Slow Burn, Underage Everything lol, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-03-13 06:25:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13564728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somewhat_angel/pseuds/somewhat_angel
Summary: Castiel is a hitman who works for Gabriel Krushnic.Dean is a 14 year old boy with a broken family who only wants to survive.Based on the film - Léon: The Professional





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again. So you know that I have a few wips lol but I won't give up on this and my Cockles one soIwill try to use my free time to keep writing those two ics :)   
> This is not beta read so please let me know or any errors you may find. Thank for reading!

"I need you to do something for me," this is what Gabriel always said when he wanted someone dead like Castiel already didn't even know what he meant.

He had been working for him for six years now, just out fresh of high school, with no family and nowhere to go. Gabriel had been like a father to him, he had adopted him and engaged him in his dark business. He also taught him everything he knew -everything important, at least-, and Castiel thanked him by being his best employee.

Castiel got out of the building as easily as he got in. Nobody saw anything, though he suspected that more than one person heard what happened inside room 2334. A job well done. He winked at the receptionist as he escaped the building, his shirt stained with blood that wasn't his own and breathing heavily. It was good that he was young, he wondered if he could do this if he was fifty.

If he was honest with himself, he often worried about what his life could become in a few years. You just don't live past forty in this kind of job. That he if you do, that's only because they caught you and put you in prison. His future is as dark as his present. But at least, he had money -for now-.

When the Police got to room 2334, they found nothing that could lead to the person who murdered five men and left a naked and crying woman in the bathroom. The five men were just a bunch of poor bastards that didn’t pay for the cocaine that rested on the table. It wasn’t pure anyway. It was trash, just like the men who stole it. Tomorrow he would go get his money. Now, the only thing he wanted to do was changing his dirty clothes and taking a long nap. Gabriel would be proud of him. He was proud of him.

He walked down the busy streets to his crappy apartment. It was a forty minute walk, and he was tired, but he didn’t care. He didn’t need a car. And it was actually a nice day; he liked to see the kids playing in the park and the flowers and the cotton-like clouds in the blue sky.

The building was quiet, which was good. A few months ago there had been a family that was always fighting, especially the father. He was a violent man. Castiel had heard him scream insults and throw things across the room, though he never saw his face, fortunately. Castiel wouldn’t have minded much about this man, if not for the boy who lived there. He was about fourteen years old, and was most of the time in the halls, playing with a phone and it was rather obvious he was being abused. Castiel never mentioned it, but he admitted to himself that he hated to see bruises on his arms and under his eye. The family finally moved out but Castiel still thought about the boy and hoped he was okay.

He recalled a short conversation they both had once when Castiel found him with a bottle of Jack Daniel's in the hall outside his apartment.

 

_"You shouldn't be drinking," Castiel said trying to look like a disapproving adult but the only answer he got for that was a shrug of the boy's shoulders._

_"What do you care," the boy muttered, after noticing that Castiel hadn't moved an inch._

_"I care when it's a kid who thinks he's old enough to be drunk," he found himself saying. Did he though? Maybe he did. He could see himself when he was younger in this boy. Kind of. He used to drink behind his mother's back. Not that she would have cared about it. She never cared about anything._

_"Yeah?" the boy asked, now slightly interested, when before he just seemed bored. "And what will you do about it?"_

_The boy had walked slowly towards him, showing a fire you don't see in most fourteen years olds. He stepped right in front of him and looked at him directly in the eyes, a tiny smirk on his lips, He was obviously shorter than Castiel, and way thinner, but god, he was beautiful. His facial features were almost perfect and his eyes were grass green, though they seemed to be constantly clouded with suffering. And right now, Castiel couldn't take his away off of the bruise on his right cheekbone. The boy turned his face to the left and looked at the floor, suddenly ashamed. Castiel wanted to comfort him, but he didn't know how and wasn't allowed._

_The boy's apartment door opened suddenly and they both jumped apart._

_"Where's this fucking boy, why does he always leave-" the father was yelling. The boy threw the bottle down the stairs without caring that he could hurt someone and ran towards the door with a grimace, but before he got in, he stopped._

_"Don't tell my dad about the alcohol," he whispered and closed the door behind him. Castiel stood there, listening to the boy's apologies and the father's screams._

_That was the only time they talked._

 

So now the building was quiet, but there was no beautiful boy hanging out alone in the halls, either.

Castiel changed clothes and went to bed, He slept soundly, as he always did after he finished a job for any danger that could appear at his door.

He woke up the next morning and went grocery shopping since all the food he had is already in bad condition, but when he got back he found Jo, the small girl with the blond hair. She smiled when he saw him and told him that her mom wanted him to get dinner with them at their apartment. Castiel never declined an invitation from his neighbor -he still couldn't believe someone wanted to share their food with him- so he said thank and that he would be there by seven.

He showered and shaved before dinner because Ellen didn't like to see him "like a filthy hippie". He never was offended by it, he supposed that that was the way a real mother behaved. He always wore his trench coat, though, even when it was warm, because how else could he hide all his guns and weapons? He was always in danger, even in those short moments that could be mistaken for normal ones, like a dinner with the Harvelles. Castiel had the impression that Ellen knew about the guns, but she never said anything, so he didn't dare mention it. It was for the best that they didn't talk about it, especially because of Jo.

"How was your week, Castiel?" Ellen asked, with an intending look on her face after they sat down at the table. "We haven't seen you in days."

"Yes, I've been a little busy," Castiel said, his eyes glued to the soup in front of him.

"You got another job?" Ellen knew that he worked shifts at a local bar from time to time, but even she would have considered that that job didn't help him survive. She wasn't judging, she was just curious.

"I've actually been working on it for a few years, it's just not full-time," Castiel tried to explain without sounding too mysterious. Ellen hummed but aid nothing. She always knew how much to ask.

"Mom, can we watch cartoons after dinner?" Jo asked cheerfully. 'We' meant her and Castiel, since he often joined her to watch her cartoons until eight thirty, when Ellen turned off the TV and told her to go sleep. Castiel liked cartoons too, they made him laugh and he actually forgot about how dark his life had turned out.

"You can, but I'd like Castiel to help me washing the dishes," Ellen said, fixing her eyes on him. Castiel nodded dutifully.

"Of course, Ellen." It was the least he could do.

He comprehended that the woman wanted to talk to him. He speculated about what exactly would she tell him and the only thing he came up with was that she finally had enough of him. She would tell him to not come back to her apartment, to be away from her and her daughter. He would miss them, but he'd survived. He had always been a lonely person, after all.

Jo didn't seem very happy about his mother's decision, but she didn't protest.

They remained silent for a few minutes as they worked on the dishes.

"I know what you do, Castiel," Ellen stated then. She didn't look at him but the man knew her expression was serious.

"I figured," Castiel conceded. "You're a very perceptive woman."

Ellen nearly smiled at that, but she frowned.

"That, and it was how my Bill was killed. Apparently, there's just one kind of thing you can do if you live in this part of the city.

Castiel hummed because he didn't know what to say. He could say sorry, but that would be hypocritical. Sometimes being quiet was the best.

Jo had fallen asleep when he said goodnight to Ellen half an hour later. Children were funny, they always wanted to stay up past their bedtime but they still fell asleep in front of the TV. Castiel smiled thinking about Jo's little grumpy face the next morning when she realized that she was passed out before saying goodnight to him.

Ellen always told him to take care of himself but tonight she was more solemn like she knew something he didn't even suspect yet.

He didn't take off his trench coat when he went to bed two hours later but he still had a few nightmares where he was killed by different people.

 

 

\------------------------------

 

 

Dean had put on his school clothes and was helping little Sam with his shoes when he heard his dad yell that they better move their asses if they wanted to catch the bus. Dean rolled his eyes. His dad didn’t cared if they were late to school. He didn't give a fuck about them. The only thing he cared about was the money he got by selling cocaine to wealthy junkies.

He was good at the business, as often the other men told him, but Dean was sure that altering the cocaine wasn't the smartest of his ideas. Obviously, that was something his bosses weren't aware of and they wouldn't like it when they knew. When, not if. Dean was sure it wouldn't be a secret anymore, so that was why last night packed a few clothes for himself and his brother in his backpack, alongside with some candy and cigarettes and Sammy's moose plushie. And of course, four thousand dollars that his dad kept inside a shoe box in his closet.

"Come on, Sammy, let's get out of here before dad explodes," Dean prompted and took his little brother's hand without saying bye to their dad, who was frying some bacon while his kids left the house without having eaten.

They didn't take the bus, though. Dean guided his little brother to the only place he knew they would be safe in. It wasn't that far, but Sam became somewhat antsy after a few minutes.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

Dean sighed. He couldn't explain his brother about how he was sure that their father would be dead by the end of the day and they wouldn't have a house, but he would manage. He released Sam's hand for a second to lit a cigarette.

"Remember how those guys were in the apartment that day? Dad works for them, but he got transferred to another city so now he won't be here with us. He let us some money, though, so don't worry. I'll buy you something to eat in a minute."

Sam looked at him like one look at the stars, but his face scrunched up a little. "Why didn't he take us with him?"

Dean had to concede that or a four-year-old, Sam was pretty smart. He threw the cigarette and stepped on it. It had helped calm him down a bit. Leaving home wasn't as easy as he had thought, he kind of felt like he wants to turn around and come back home. If that was even his home, anyway. Their dad was a brute and their mom had been dead for nearly as long as Sammy had been alive. They had nothing more than each other.

"It's better this way, Sammy."

They entered a dinner and sat at an empty table. The middle-aged waitress looked at them somewhat suspiciously, like she wondered why weren't them at school or something, but limited to write down their orders on her small notepad -pancakes, chocolate chips for Sam and blueberry for Dean; bacon, black coffee, and orange juice. Also, two slices of takeaway apple pie.

Dean paid with a fifty dollar bill and didn't wait for the change.

They resumed their way to the complex of apartments a few streets down. with each step, he felt more and more anxious, and even Sammy whined that his hand was sweaty, which he ignored completely as he cursed himself inwardly for being so reckless, but he'd never forgiven himself if Sammy ended up on those men's hands -or guns- just because their father was an idiot.

When they entered the old building his little brother grinned.

"We lived here before! Are we going to stay here again, Dean?" he asked.

"I hope we can," Dean muttered. Now that they were already there, it seemed a dumb idea. The guy didn't even know them well, and they couldn't be more than a burden to anybody.

But he had no one else to ask for help, so he took a deep breath and they walked up the stairs to the seventh floor -the elevator was still out of order-.

When they went past their former apartment, Sammy was confused. In his mind, he had expected to go back to their previous home but of course, they couldn't do that now. Dean only hoped the guy said yes. He would do anything so he said yes.

Dean knocked on the door once. When nothing happened, he knocked again, this time with more confidence. He knew that he was in there.

The guy must have looked through the peephole and decided that there wasn't any danger because he opened the door. He looked as surprised as Dean had imagined, his pistols hidden behind the fabric of his trench coat.

"Hi," Dean said after a few seconds of stunned silence. He felt slightly dizzy, but he gripped his brother's hand and it gave him the strength to continue. "We need you. I need you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, sorry for not updating earlier. Life is not easy.... anyway, I hope you like it, it took me weeks to write it lol

Castiel woke up, startled by the sudden noise of someone knocking at his door. He wasn’t expecting anyone, not that he could remember. He had been so tired these days that he might have forgotten something important. Crap, now he was getting more confused by the second. He screwed up and didn’t even remember why just yet. He arranged his trench coat and went to open the door.

In the few seconds between the first knock and the second, Castiel realized that it wasn’t Gabriel who was on the other side of the door. The man wouldn’t have had a problem with knocking the door down in a second if there was really a problem. Gabriel was really scary when he wanted to be.

So no Gabriel. Not now, at least. He leaned forward to see through the peephole and to his utter surprise, he found a familiar pair of nervous green eyes. What the fuck? What was that boy doing here? Was this some kind of trap or something? Well, too late to think of all those possibilities, because he found himself opening the door anyway.

The boy with freckles all over his face and a careless but mysterious look peered up at him with something that seemed reverence and Castiel felt like he was breathing again and wondered for how long he had been dead.

Even after the boy said those words, Castiel couldn’t seem to be able to move. But then, a voice caught his attention and for the first time, he noticed the little kid that was glued to the boy’s side, looking at Castiel with huge, scared eyes.

“Dean?” the kid mumbled, squeezing the other boy’s hand.

“Don’t worry, Sammy, he’s going to help us,” Dean –the boy- whispered to him without taking away his eyes from Castiel. “Please, help us,” he said with a hint of desperation in his voice.

Castiel cursed himself internally for what he did next, knowing that it would change his life forever. He opened his door ajar and stepped back so Dean and the kid could enter the apartment.

Dean went straight to the old small couch in the middle of what could be called the living room. He let himself fall on the couch with an exhausted sigh and closed his eyes. The little kid –Dean’s little brother, Castiel guessed- at his side was still standing, surely not comfortable enough to sit on someone else’s couch. Castiel couldn’t blame him, this situation was simply crazy.

Castiel grabbed a seat at the table and sat down. He needed to do something about this, the sooner, the better.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t be you at school?” he asked. He crossed his arms over his chest; he knew that he needed to show authority since Dean seemed to have problems with boundaries.

Dean opened his eyes but didn’t move nor talked. He had at least the decency to look ashamed. That was something that Castiel hadn’t expected.

“It’s a long story,” he said after a while, his eyes on his hands. Yes, he was truly ashamed. What had he done? What happened?

“I don’t have to work today, so I have the time,” Castiel pointed out.

Dean stood suddenly, glancing briefly at the kid, who kept looking up at him like he had all the answers of the universe, especially the one for this weird situation. Castiel felt a pang of melancholy and even a little jealousy. He wished he had someone who had taken care of him when he was an infant.

“Can I explain this later? It’s just-” Dean glanced once again at his little brother and then averted his eyes, staring at the dirty floor under his feet.

So this was apparently more serious than Castiel had wanted. He guessed that he couldn’t be that surprised, nothing about this boy was simple and it would never be. Was Castiel ready or this –whatever this was-? What would happen to him? Whatever it was, he knew it wasn’t going to be easy. He sighed. He listened to Dean.

“It’s complicated,” Dean finished. “Can you let us stay here?”

As Castiel’s expression changed, Dean hastened to add “just for a few weeks. I’ll look for a place for me and Sammy. We won’t bother you, I promise.”

“Alright,” Castiel said, closing his eyes. He was getting a headache already, and it was still early. He was conscious that he was getting himself and the kids in all kinds of trouble, but right now he didn’t know what else to do.

“Alright?” Dean repeated, stunned. Then, a relieved grin appeared on his face and he looked so innocent and beautiful that Castiel wanted to kiss him. But he won’t; he already did something really stupid, he can’t screw up this even more that it already is.

“Awesome!” He exclaimed, standing up and hugging his little brother briefly. The little kid seems even more confused now.

Castiel went to the kitchenette if only to take his eyes off the boy on his couch and breathe. What was he doing? Could his life be any stranger?

He opened the fridge. The half-empty carton of milk was the only thing in there, but he wasn’t exactly hungry at the moment, so he served himself a glass of milk and sipped a bit.

“I could help you grocery shopping,” Dean said, suddenly right beside him and making him choke a little. Sammy –the little kid- giggled but stopped when Castiel looked at him.

Castiel sighed. It wasn’t like he had a plan for these children just yet, so grocery shopping with Dean and his little brother didn’t sound so crazy after all, if not for him, at least for them. This kids still were growing, after all.

And that made Castiel think again about how wrong it was to be attracted to a boy ten years younger than him. He couldn’t help it, Dean was gorgeous and he kept looking at him in that way... Ever since that first day in the hallway, Castiel had known that he would never be interested in another person. He had almost forgotten about it since the family moved, but now that he was here in his apartment, standing so close to him…

Dean was looking at him with those big green eyes when Sammy pulled off his big brother sleeve.

“Dean, I have to go to the bathroom,” he said in his high pitched voice and of course that was what brought Castiel back to the present.

“The bathroom, yes- it’s right there, second door,” Castiel pointed at the place and after a few seconds of Sammy staring at him between grateful and scared, the little boy walked toward the bathroom and closed the door without making any noise.

“He’s a little confused right now, but it’ll pass,” Dean explained, and Castiel nodded because he didn’t know what else to say.

Oh right, the grocery shopping. “We could go to the store after I take a shower, there’s no food here and you both need to eat.”

He was rewarded with the most shining smile a teenager with a difficult backstory could give and Castiel’s heart skipped a beat.

He promised to himself not to masturbate in the shower that day. Or any other day. It would be terrible if any of the boys heard him. He was an adult, he could control himself.

 

 

Dean was smiling all the way to the grocery store. It was like he had been freed of something (or someone) that had done him wrong. His brother Sam –Dean said that the little boy didn’t like other people calling him Sammy- was still glued to his side, his hand clasped with Dean’s. Castiel thought it was better that way. A kid so small could get lost very easily, and he didn’t want to get in trouble if something happened to him. Castiel picked several milk cartons and some coffee, but Dean chose the rest: ground beef, cheese, fruits, butter, eggs, flour, sugar, salt, potato chips and chocolate. Sam said he wanted carrots and spinach so Dean complied after rolling his eyes. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for all three, at least until the boys found another place to stay.

Nobody seemed to find it weird that a young man walked in the streets with a teenager and a five-year-old boy –or whatever age Sam was-. That’s a good thing about living in New York; everyone is so busy that they don’t have the time for any kind of drama.

Except that not everyone seemed to be busy enough to not notice it. By five in the afternoon, when the three of them were plastered on the couch watching cartoons, they heard someone knocking at the door and a girl’s voice calling Castiel.

Oh, shit. He had forgotten about Ellen and Jo. What was he going to tell them? He couldn’t just go to their apartment to have dinner and leave the boys behind. But he couldn’t tell her, mainly because he wouldn’t even know what to say. Look, Ellen, something happened and now these boys are staying in my apartment, don’t know or how long or where they will live after they’re gone and someone could come and get me in trouble…

Castiel managed a gesture that indicated them to lower the volume and opened the door just enough to show his head without letting Jo see the interior of the apartment.

“Castiel, I thought you were dead!” Jo joked with a relieved smile.

“No, silly, I’m still here,” he said. He now had a plan for tonight. “But I’ve been feeling a little sick. A migraine. It’s terrible and I’d only want to stay in bed for the rest of the day.”

“Oh, poor Cas,” Jo said, showing true worry. There were only a few persons in Castiel’s life but they were the best. “I’ll tell mom. I’ll come back tomorrow with some tea, okay?”

Dammit.  

“Yeah, okay, Jo. Thank you. Bye.” He closed the door just a second after Jo turned her back. He ton the couch and closed his eyes. It was possible that a migraine had just manifested. He wondered again what the hell he was doing.

Sam fell asleep in the middle of a Scooby-Doo episode and Dean carried him to the bed in the spare bedroom that Castiel had prepared for them –if putting two cushions and some blankets could be called that. Castiel had never had visits and nobody ever stayed the night, not even his rare one night stands.

Just when he was getting undressed in his own room, Castiel realized that Dean hadn’t explained anything to him and that he probably wouldn’t do it anytime soon. He had avoided the topic and Castiel didn’t ask anymore, but Castiel was sure that those kids were completely alone. They had no one more than each other… and for now, Castiel.

He sighed as he put his head on the pillow. He would think of something, of someone. He didn’t know many people, and he obviously didn’t trust in anyone –besides Gabriel- but he would find a way to send those boys away from the dark, hopeless place he was in. Castiel’s life was dangerous, and they deserved better. Dean deserved to be near someone who could take care of him the same way he took care of his little brother. Castiel couldn’t be that person.

He wasn’t that person.

He could find a way.

 

 

His cell phone vibrated earlier than he would’ve liked. It was Gabriel, who else? He wanted to talk about another case. He didn’t specify much but Castiel didn’t care. He needn’t know the details, he just did his work.

He gulped down a glass of milk after taking a quick shower and let a note to the kids saying that he was out for work and that he would be back in a few hours. He specified in the note that they weren’t allowed to leave the apartment while he was not there. He hoped Dean respected him enough to stay in.

Gabriel was waiting for him in the back of his restaurant. It was a nice enough façade, the restaurant. It never was full, but that wasn’t a problem because Gabriel managed a business that gave him a lot more money.

As Castiel got in and greeted Kali, he had an idea, but first, he had to complete this job. He could talk to Gabriel about it later.

It wasn’t as half as difficult as it had been his previous job. The guys were unprepared for his arrival, and it was just a few minutes before he cleaned himself and left the place without another sound.

Gabriel congratulated again for a job well done and gave him his part. Castiel didn’t count it. Instead, he asked him if he could ask for a favor.

Gabriel arched an eyebrow but complied. They went to the basement, where there were silence and privacy.

“Well, Cassie? What is it?” Gabriel said, and for the first time, Castiel saw anxiety showing on his usually relaxed face. “Don’t tell me that you’re leaving me. You know I can’t find another like you. I’d be lost.”

Castiel nearly smiled. Gabriel was his family; he would never leave him. It was nuts that the man could think something like that.

“I assure you, Gabriel, that’s not it.”

“Then what, boy? You’re killing me here. Spit it, for fox's sake.”

Castiel looked at his hands, knowing really well that what he was about to ask was ridiculous, but he had no other choice.

“I need you to protect two boys.”         

Gabriel looked at him like he hadn’t understood a word, and he hadn’t, so Castiel had to start from the beginning and explain everything, at least the things he knew.

“Cassie, I’m sure you have noticed that I’m not a nun and this is not a convent,”

“I know,” Castiel said, exasperated. “I know, Gabriel, but they have nothing, and they can’t stay with me.”

“Why not? You seem like a responsible person,” Gabriel commented, unimpressed. “A bit young, but I think that’s not really a problem.”

“It is!” Castiel shouted, but then lowered his voice. “Apologies.”

“You’re forgiven.”

“Gabriel, you know that they will be in danger if they stay with me. They won’t have the protection they would have here. Sam is so young, and Dean-”

“Cassie, I’ll say it again. I can’t do anything for those them. My restaurant is being watched, and you know what that means. Kali and the kids are always in danger, if I was her, I would take the kid and leave as soon as possible. But she decided to stay for me, and because she’s naturally crazy, that woman… as I was saying, if what you want for those children is to protect them, you’ll have to do it yourself.”

“But-“

“No buts, Cassie. I’m sorry, you know I would do anything for you, but that I can’t do.” Gabriel sighed, and Castiel knew this conversation was over. “I know you’ll be a good guardian.”

He gave him more money and took him to the front door, where he joked about his ‘new family’ and promised to call again soon.


End file.
